coffee

a cup of coffee—real coffee— home-browned, home ground, home made, that comes to you dark as a hazel-eye, but changes to a golden bronze as you temper it with cream that never cheated, but was real cream from its birth, thick, tenderly yellow, perfectly sweet, neither lumpy nor frothing on the java: such a cup of coffee is a match for twenty blue devils and will exorcise them all. | henry ward beecher

i think he takes his coffee as seriously as i do... maybe a bit more!

photo taken at a starbucks
on the boulevard saint-michel, paris, may 2006

moments

i don't know about you, but there are a few moments every day, that for me are the epitome of near perfection. they are small moments that make me happy and so grateful for the life that i have been granted.

one such moment is just before i fall asleep, especially when i have the time to enjoy the process. i am not one of those people who put their head on the pillow and find themselves immediately asleep. i've never had such super-human ability, and envy those who have the gift. no, instead, falling asleep for me is a process, usually including a book.

but my very favorite part is just after i've gotten into bed, and the realization that for at least the next however many hours, i have nothing to do but sleep. i find such luxury in that moment. to me, it is pure bliss.

there is another one, that given the fact that it might be considered too much information, i won't mention here. perhaps i will post it in the comments. then it's up to you whether or not you want to take the chance!

but i wonder, what is your favorite moment of the day?

feel free to leave a comment. and if your favorite moment is personal, then feel free to remain anonymous!

remembering

as i was doing this morning's life journal reading, i came across some words of Jesus that seemed to jump off the page at me.

let me set the stage. in the days preceding this, Jesus fed the five thousand. a few days later, Jesus fed another four thousand. i don't know about you, but i am not sure that i ever realized before how closely these two meals happened. and then, at the beginning of Matthew chapter 16, there was yet another run in with the pharisees. this time they demanded that Jesus show them a sign to prove his authority.

Matthew continues the story...

Later, after they crossed to the other side of the lake, the disciples discovered they had forgotten to bring any bread. "Watch out!" Jesus warned them. "Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees."

At this they began to argue with each other because they hadn't brought any bread. Jesus knew what they were saying, so he said, "You have so little faith! Why are you arguing with each other about having no bread? Don't you understand even yet? Don't you remember the 5,000 I fed with five loaves, and the baskets of leftovers you picked up? Or the 4,000 I fed with seven loaves, and the large baskets of leftovers you picked up? Why can't you understand that I'm not talking about bread? So again I say, `Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.'"

Then at last they understood that he wasn't speaking about the yeast in bread, but about the deceptive teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees. {Matthew 16:5-12}

don't you remember? it was only days ago when Jesus fed the first group, and even less days since he fed a larger group with more food, and here, the disciples' minds are so wrapped up in the immediacy of what they consider the priority, they completely miss what Jesus is telling them.

don't you remember? i can hardly fault the disciples here, because of the countless times i have forgotten all the ways that God has provided for me in the midst of a struggle or need. like this past summer, before the missions trip to Poland, when financial support was late in coming, i spent way too much time focusing on what i didn't have, and human ways to remedy it... even though i have years of experience and six missions trips with Global 180 where God has always provided.

don't you remember? we don't need to remember God's faithfulness when everything is going well. it seems during those times, our 'remember muscle' works just fine. it gets weak when we've been waiting... for healing, for the answer to prayer that seems so impossible, for those things we're almost too afraid to actually utter in prayer for fear that our hearts may break.

but this is when we most need to remember. this is when i most need to remember all the God has done for me throughout my life.

don't you remember?

gates of hell

man enjoys living on the edge of his dreams
and neglects the real things of the world
which are so beautiful.
the ignorant and indifferent
destroy beautiful things
merely by looking at them.
[things that] remake the soul of him
who understands them. | auguste rodin

i took this photo of auguste rodin's the gates of hell at the rodin museum gardens in paris in march of 2008. in an effort to get the sculpture without people in front of it, i waited. and waited. and waited! these three people, who were not together, simply wouldn't leave. then suddenly there was this moment when they were all standing right in front of it looking up, as the three shades on the top of the sculpture were looking down at them. i couldn't resist myself.

enigma

   enigma |iˈnigmə|
   noun ( pl. -mas or -mata |-mətə|)
   a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.
     • a riddle or paradox.

we're in the process of starting a new venue at PORTICO, and last night we had the first town hall meeting to see who would be interested in helping start up the new venue. i find the whole process and the anticipation of the outcome exciting. to be part of something great from the beginning is always pretty amazing.

when jeff asked those of us in the meeting which evening we'd be more interested in the venue happening, between saturday or sunday, only one hand went up for saturday: mine. so on the way home, sharon asked me why i was interested in saturday, and at first, i really wasn't sure how to answer her.

the truth is, i am an enigma, sometimes even to myself.

i am a girl who needs to live in a large city, but loves the small town feel of the area i live in.

personality-wise, i am split right down the middle: half sanguine {generally light-hearted, funloving, a people person, loves to entertain, spontaneous, and confident} and half melancholic {thoughtful ponderer, highly creative, depressed, perfectionist, often a loner and chooses to stay alone and reflect}.

when i am alone, i wish i was out with people. when out with people, i wish i was alone.

so i guess it is no surprise that when it comes to my home church, the oddity continues...

i love PORTICO, including its size, but i am never fully comfortable in a large crowd of people. which is why i think a smaller venue with a completely different feel is appealing. and i won't even get into the fact that i love the non-traditional, non-sunday element.

we all, i suppose, have our enigmatic moments. whether or not we pay attention to them is probably another story entirely.

what is an enigmatic facet of your life? share them with me so i can feel more normal. which is an odd thing to ask, because i hate being normal... good grief.

laugh

every day is a fresh beginning,

every morn is the world made new. | sarah chauncey woolsey

it's monday, and truth be told, i am tired. i'm really not sure why i've been so tired lately, discounting, of course, last thursday evening's visit back to my teenage years!

this fall season has gone by so quickly, it's been quite crazy. last night at PORTICO, we said goodbye to phil and marisa aud, who are leaving us for a church in georgia. i'm really excited for them, i love new beginnings, and they really have waited so long for this, but they will definitely be missed. enjoy your adventure, my friends!

it's been 11 months since i have seen the majority of my family, and i am counting the days (38 days, 10 hours, 19 minutes) until my plane leaves. i'm so looking forward to spending a week with them, especially with my favorite little people... who are looking less and less like little people every day. one thing is certain, i will laugh. just look at that picture! how could you not laugh with such awesomeness happening just for your entertainment?!


so, no matter what this week holds, enjoy it. and don't forget to laugh!

art

art, like morality,
consists in drawing the line
somewhere. | g.k. chesterton