holy & hidden

we all have our TV addictions. i have two right now {possibly three, but the jury is still out on Kings}. the number one show is LOST. i don't care how much they distort time/reality whatever-- i am going to be there until the end. my secondary addiction is another one i've had since the series began, Grey's Anatomy.

recently i happened upon season two of Grey's for a ridiculously low price, and was compelled to purchase it. since i do not have any sort of regular television {cable, satellite, old-fashioned rabbit ears} to watch, DVDs have become my entertainment. so over the past week, i've watched a fair bit of the show.

one episode has stuck out in my mind. a woman refused to have a risky operation to cure something wrong with her brain {tumor, aneurysm... something like that}, because her illness had woken both her and her marriage up. she said the for fifteen years she had been sleepwalking. her husband had his main focus on his job, and their relationship was a ghost. but since her illness, she had realized how much she loved life, her husband, and they'd been travelling and had fallen in love all over again. so, she didn't want the operation for fear that it might actually work, and they would return to their sad, sleeping state.

it really is too easy to live life in auto-pilot. to let one day meld into the next until weeks become nothing more than a pile of melted wax, one former candle indiscernible from another. why is it we need the big things {illness, death, tragedy, etc.} to make us realize that the life we are living is our ONLY life. these days, this day is the ONLY day. we don't get do-overs, and if we waste it, or worse yet, not even realize it's happening, that it's gone.

i believe that when Thoreau wrote, "I wanted to live deep and suck the marrow out of life," he had to have gotten it. he had to have understood our tendency to skim over the dailyness of life, writing it off as insignificant and unworthy of full attention.

all this leads me to one of my favorite Frederick Beuchner quotes, which i've quoted here before, and in all honesty, i will do again...

listen to your life. see it for the fathomless mystery that it is. in the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis allmoments are key moments, and life itself is grace. {F. Buechner}

may you search for and find the 'holy and hidden heart' of your life today...

book review: This Is Your Brain On Joy

I’ve always been a pretty firm believer that you can judge a book by its cover. And the cover of This Is Your Brain On Joy has a pretty spectacular cover, so my hopes were high as I cracked open the cover.

My theory, as usual, was not incorrect. Dr. Earl Henslin’s book examines the concept of joy, not only the emotional aspect, but also the physical, environmental and nutritional factors that contribute to the joy we all seek. It’s too easy to beat ourselves up due to the lack of joy in our lives, and write it off as a spiritual deficiency. Dr. Henslin tells us that there are other contributing factors to a lack of joy, and presents us with a plan to reintroduce joy to our lives.

The book starts with some fairly technical language, but once you get past the initial introduction to the regions of the brain, there is an assessment you can take, which will help you see which area you may want to focus on. Then, the following chapters outline the ways that you can improve your brain health through diet, exercise and supplements.

My personal favorite aspect of the book is that it goes farther than the usual things to improve your health. There are music, book and movie recommendations to aid in the process, both for adults and children. The book definitely takes a holistic approach to the rediscovery of joy.

If joy seems to be eluding you, I wholeheartedly rencourage you to pick up this book.

drops

it's friday, and it's raining. today as i sat at my desk, i could look beyond the monitor, and see the rain hit the new parking lot in waves. as long as i'm indoors, i like it when it's windy as it rains. it's almost as if the drops take on combined form... no longer simple, individual drops just falling towards the earth. banded together, they are a force to be reckoned with.

we humans are much the same. left on our own, it's too easy to simply fall into a pattern of existing, simply falling towards our eventual destination. unchecked, we can allow habits and patterns into our lives that will never allow us reach our goals. we can waste untold hours sitting in front of a computer or a television or a movie screen. we can miss hearing, or sharing, words of encouragement and love that could provide much-needed sustinance.

left alone, it is hard to be the people we are called to be.

for this reason, i am so grateful for the friends and family who regularly encourage me, share their lives, laugh with me, and even occasionally kick my butt when i need it.

without you all, i am fairly certain that i wouldn't even like me!

laughter

i almost lost my café americano when i saw this:

middle age

it's almost here again. the day when i come face to face with the yearly reality check that reminds me that i am no longer in my 20s...or even 30s. it's almost time to get older... again.

i know this is a silly statement to make, but i don't believe in chronological age. and i'm not just saying that because of the too-soon addition onto the already too-high number. i say it because, really, what does the number of years you've been breathing on this planet mean? it doesn't necessarily make us any smarter, richer or hotter. the holder of higher numbers isn't automatically granted exceptional wisdom or common sense. and, most sadly, just because you have been on the planet for an abundance of years, there is no guarantee that you've actually lived-- been present-- every day you've been granted.

knowing my tendency to get philosophical when faced with the topic of aging, i seem to be haunted by margaret becker's statement in her book with new eyes, that she 'more resembles those near the end of their journey than those at the beginning' more this year than usual. if anything, it makes me more aware that i need to be present for all the days of my life. to actually live, and not just bide time, wait for the next trip to paris, or worse, squander the time i've been given.

while i may never know what prompted him to write these words, i am grateful for this observation:

youth is the period in which a man can be hopeless. the end of every episode is the end of the world. but the power of hoping through everything, the knowledge that the soul survives its adventures, that great inspiration comes to the middle-aged. {g.k. chesterton}

perhaps this whole getting older thing is simply the gift wrapping of the days to come...

deprivation

...he giveth his beloved sleep. {Psalm 127:2}

for as long as i can remember, i have had a love/hate relationship with sleep. i have always envied my mother's ability to fall asleep the moment that she laid her head down on the pillow. instead of inheriting her sleep 'gene', i have instead taken after my grandmother, who herself often found sleep more elusive than not.

before last night, i have not had a solid, uninterrupted night of sleep in over two weeks. i have made an art out of waking up many times during the hours when the lucky/blessed people are all sleeping soundly. the sleep deprivation has not left me on my best game. sadly, it makes me less likely to listen, more likely to jump to conclusions and way too likely to be overly self-centered.

i've recently been reminded of something else that too many of us walk around deprived of: encouragement. i don't think any of us too often walk through our lives thinking, "i really wish someone would encourage me today." but in those rare, golden moments when someone actually goes out of their way to encourage us, whether verbally or written, it can be cool water to a soul that didn't realize it was dry and thirsty.

who in your world needs your encouraging words today?

what is stopping you from giving them that gift?

you need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. when we all help one another, everybody wins. {jim stovall}

lent

for the first time in many years, i have chosen to participate in the Lenten season by giving up certain things. i know that fasting as a spiritual discipline is a vital and necessary part of a Christ follower's journey, but this year, i felt compelled to return to this practice. perhaps my Catholic roots run deeper than i thought.

on saturday evenings, when our infamous movie nights are not happening, i like to spend some reflective time in preparation for the next morning's worship service. and since i got walter brueggemann's book prayers for a priviledged people, i like to use one of the prayers in that as my springboard. sadly, though, i do not do this as often as i would like to.

but tonight, i did, and my new friend walter has not disappointed me.

sustained by angels
on reading Mark 1:12-13

maybe we have not thought much about satan,
either in glib self-regard,
or in rejection of such silly speculation,
or in a way more urbane and benign
than to imagine such a character.

except that as we begin our strenuous Lenten trek,
we are aware
that the power of resistance is at work in our midst,
that the force of negation is alive and well,
that our best will is contradicted
by stuff that surges
against our best selves,
that we, even we, are prone to our
several addictions that render us helpless.

so we pray in the Lenten season,
give us primative freedom to
take full stock of satan and the power of
evil still among us in our prosperity and
wealth and sophistication,
and give us primitive openness
to your ministering angels
who are present with care and gentleness
and great nourishment.

in the Lenten season, give us freedom
to reconfigure our lives
as a testing field between the force of satan
and the food of your angels.

enter our lives with power for newness,
deliver us from a sense of naive mastery,
and give us honest contact with our vulnerability.

enter the deep places of our life and claim us for your purposes.
we would be more free than we are,
more bold than we dare,
more obedient than we choose.

we wait for the gift of your large gift of life
that will wrench us away from death
to the miracle of Easter joy.

i think this is enough to think about for tonight... and exactly what i needed to hear.