5.27.2005

pursuing beans

okay, so i'm a coffee addict.

if i had to defend myself i would say that i am addicted to the experience, and i merely enjoy the substance. but i don't have to defend myself.

one morning not long ago, i had some extra time to kill before i needed to be at work, enough time to make the trek down to starbucks. it was a grey, nondescript kind of day, and a caramel macchiato would have definitely made an improvement. as i pulled in to the only starbucks with a drive-thru in the area i noticed it was uncharacteristically dark, and while the sign next to the door clearly stated that this cafe opened at 7am, someone had neglected to get the memo to everyone involved.

by the time i had gotten out of my car to pull on the door to see if, perhaps, this was just a cruel trick, and there was indeed coffee brewing inside, four other cars had gathered in the parking lot, all with the same goal.

the only logical thing to do at that point was to travel the 34 seconds west, to the next closest starbucks, so i got back into my car & did just that, the lead camel in this coffee caravan. as i cut through the theatre parking lot, marveling at my enterprise, and planning to be the first into the store so that no more time than necessary would separate me from my coffee, i couldn't help but feel a little bit smug.

as i pulled up to the second darkened cafe, i couldn't help but think that perhaps it was some sort of conspiracy. five cars had turned into seven. seven cars carrying people who just wanted their morning coffee. seven cars shot down again.

it was as if the coffee gods were throwing a challenge: how far were we willing to go? never one to back down to a challenge, for me, in that instant it became not about the caffeinated substance itself, but rather the quest to attain what had been so far denied. i watched as some gave up, driving away defeated, to whatever their day had in store. but i wasn't about to let it beat me.

the next starbucks was about six minutes down the road, so i headed off in that direction, now with only two cars behind. but it was no longer about winning, now it was about the simple quest for coffee and the refusal to be denied.

twelve minutes later i was back on the road and headed for work, coffee firmly resting in the drink holder of the car and proud of accomplishing what had turned into a journey of sorts when it hit me.

what if i pursued God with the same tenacity that i did that caramel macchiato? what if i refused to let discouragement and set backs derail me, and just doggedly refused to be satisfied by anything less than truth, justice and the passionate pursuit of my Creator? what if i refused to let the way things are determine the way they could be?

what if...

grande non-fat caramel macchiato.

5.05.2005

a beginning of awareness

life is so fleeting, so fast. and so few guarantees...or at least good guarantees.

if any of us had to sign up for this life thing, we would probably think twice before putting our signature on the dotted line. is there anything else we choose to do that is so uncertain & so unrelentingly steady? i like anna nalick's analogy in 'breathe' that 'life's like an hourglass glued to the table'.

there are only two responses: sit and watch the sand slip away & lament all that is lost, or forget the instrument & hit the road, living hard & full until your time runs out. the former is easy, the latter is living.

make the most of every moment.
 

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