well, the suitcase is packed...and i have to say that it feels more than a little weird taking my big bubba of a suitcase not brimming over and bordering on the maximum weight allowed by all major airlines. it feels like i am doing something wrong. but, that being said, if i can pack for three weeks in ukraine & paris in this suitcase, and then turn around and have trouble fitting all i'll need for six days in calgary, i have a problem.

i am downloading all the podcasts i can in an effort to be entertained while in the air, when what i really need to be doing is sleeping... so i will do just that.

anne sophie swetchine wrote, "travel is the frivolous part of serious lives, and the serious part of frivolous ones." tonight i don't think i can decide which one fits...


If Fonts Were People

Times New Roman and friends battle the forces of evil.

"Mailbox. Open mailbox!"

read more | digg story



on my way to work this morning, my mind started down a track that i haven't been able to wander from yet. it was started while i was listening to the sarah slean song get home, and there is one line in the song that says, 'to me you're just a tourist...'

the song started me thinking that it is too easy for us to be tourists in our own lives. i, myself live like this with alarming frequency.

what is so wrong with being a tourist, you wonder? well, you are reading the words of someone who doesn't like to be considered a tourist even when she is in a foreign country. the best compliment i EVER received was on my first trip to paris, when i was crossing a street in the latin quarter one morning with this old woman who apparently saw something funny, and said something to me en francais, and was surprised when i couldn't answer her. ah, the good days...

...but i digress.

being a tourist, at least in my estimation, is cheap. you don't belong to the place where you are, you are just there to enjoy it, not make it better, not necessarily grow from it, to only get what you can from it. you may disagree with me, but i believe at the root of being a tourist is the consumerism that is so prevalent in and diseasing our culture. it is deliberately standing orbiting of the heart of a place, sampling the hors d'oerves, but never actually sitting down at the table .

in many ways i am more a tourist in my everyday life than i am when i am in france. i forget the things that make my life, and this place where i live great and beautiful and magical, in the face of the banalities of the every day...or worse than forget them, i take them for granted.

in the busyness of the days, how does one remember to live?


i can admit that sometimes i not always the brightest crayon in the box...

a long time ago, i was introduced to the band caedmon's call, and fell in love with their music, some songs more than others. and coincidentally, all of the caedmon's songs that i absolutely loved were the ones written by derek webb. i got to the point that when a new CD would come out, i would listen to it and be able to identify which songs were written by him on the first time through.

there was [and still is] a poetry and purity to his lyrics that has always resounded in me. his music has always moved me.

and then, he met a girl and got married. i knew that she was an artist too, that he first met her when she was playing in a nashville coffee shop, but i didn't think much of it. it never even occurred to me that given my love of derek's music, that music that he essentially fell in love with, would be something that i would enjoy.

until i heard sandra mccracken's song ten thousand angels on grey's anatomy... and started thinking that maybe i need to broaden my horizons.

i downloaded sandra's new CD, gravity|love from noisetrade.com, and have not been able to stop listening to it. (first of all, if you don't know what noisetrade is,
go there immediately!) but beyond that, this is seriously the most beautiful CD i may ever have heard, with lyrics that both uplift and break your heart.

if i had to pick a favorite song, i would have to tell you that it changes every time i hear a new song. portadown station is brilliantly, painfully beautiful ("i hear your voice inside my head but i miss the sound"). all the miles has an honesty and purity that is rare ("I'd rather have the mystery and the madness and the rains/ 'cause hell's the only place you can be free of all love's pain").

i could go on & on, but i won't. go to noise trade. get the album...and experience it for yourself.



tonight, i am tired

not the pretty, light kind of tired that falls asleep gently when the pillow surrounds your head. but a heavy, harsh, relentless kind of tired that does not bode well for sleep.

it seems as though i am constantly letting people down...that through all that is happening, i should be stronger, more able to keep juggling, be more patient, keep writing, keep hopeful, keep...on.

tonight, at small group, i was once again reminded that regardless of circumstances and glasses half empty or full, God is still God. he is unchanging, and though surrounded by a world that doesn't seem to know how to stay the same or be still for even a moment, this remains true. here is my solace. this is my peace.

so, i am shutting my computer off now, and will go lay my head on a pillow, and trust that sleep will come.


four movies & soundtrack

in the past seven days, i have seen more new movies than i probably have in the rest of this year. (okay, in reality, not so much, but it does seem like it.)  perhaps it is the quality of these movies, and one of their soundtracks, that makes them seem all the more impressive.
movie #1: august rush
soundtrack: august rush
i didn't see this at the theatre, as it seemed just a little to forumulaic and predictable, and while, in reality, it was formulaic and predictable, it was immensely enjoyable nonetheless, probably mostly due to its superb soundtrack (which, yes, alicia, i did purchase, as you predicted!) but there is something about the quality of cinematography (best use of natural & artificial light i have seen in a while), and the seemless weaving of music, almost as an inanimate lead character, that makes me glad i spent the time (instead of watching bride & prejudice for the umpteenth time...i just watched that classic later!)
movie #2: dan in real life
here is where i eat my first helping of crow. i'll say it...i have not been a fan of steve carell. i don't watch the office. and i will also admit that i did not see this movie earlier simply because of steve, himself. on my way to ukraine in march, this was the movie playing on the plane, and i chose to talk to the guy in the seat beside me over watching this movie. so, imagine my surprise when i actually LOVED this movie. juliet binoche, one of my favorite french actresses, edged out only by oscar-winning marion cotillard, was perfect. dane cook, not a personal favorite, was good, and, in spite of all my best and strongest preconceived notions, steve carell was amazing. it is a movie that i will watch again and again...and in reality, i've already watched it again!

movie #3: lars and the real girl
here is my biggest surprise. i had read all the excellent reviews. i knew that this was a brilliant movie going into it. perhaps it was the gushing review after gushing review monotony that disarmed me, and left me sitting on my sofa in tears, wondering when it stopped mattering that one of the lead 'characters' wasn't even a real person...only an adult-size plastic doll. that was when i realized the genius of this movie...i forgot she wasn't real. i forgot ryan gosling's character wasn't real. i forgot that i am at heart a city girl, and longed, for a brief moment, to live in a small northern town with so much community, that they would embrace this apparently crazy man and his not-so-real girlfriend. this could be one of my top ten movies...EVER.

movie #4: get smart
after so much drama, both in real life & on the screen, it was time to laugh. i faithfully watched don adams in the television show of the same name, and was a tiny bit fearful that the movie would not equal it. well, holy crap was i wrong! steve carell caught the perfect essence of his predecessor, without going too far...ann hathaway was a perfect agent 99. and i laughed so hard, there was actually a moment when i stopped breathing ([maxwel smart:] are you thinking what I'm thinking? [the chief]: I don't know. Were you thinking, "holy $#!^, holy $#!^, a sword fish almost went through my head"? if so, then yes.)  even now, sitting here in my home, i am laughing like an idiot thinking about it! perfect movie. i do need to go see it again, to pick up some of the many brilliant lines that i was too busy trying not to pee while laughing to remember.
well, there you have it. this week, i need to catch up on my reading...but i'm afraid my books have some work to do to live up to some of these movies!

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