listening: Jezioro łabędzie (Czajkowski)
reading: The Rest of God (Buchanan)

I've come to the conclusion that i do not always handle stress well. most of the time, it's all good, and there is no problem seeing the bigger picture for the forest of stressors. but then times like these come into play, and this usually fiercely independent girl wants nothing more than to go crying to her mommy.

In these moments of weakness, i have realized the very real danger in leaving myself unchecked. we have this crazy human tendancy when we (or our pride) are hurt or in pain, to give ourselves licence to do things we would normally never consider right. when provoked, we feel justified to take the filter off of our words and attitudes, unleashing them on those responsible for wronging us. we talk too much to people who have nothing to do with the issue, dragging others into our sad little foxhole. we throw all the things we have learned from Jesus out the window in the face of our situation.

telling ourselves that it's okay to lash out, to get justification, forgetting that in essence, we are doing the same thing (or worse) that hurt us and started us down this sad road, to others.

Tennyson summed it up pretty well when he wrote:
Guard your roving thoughts with a jealous care, for speech is but the dialer of thoughts, and every fool can plainly read in your words what is the hour of your

And then there's always Proverbs 4:23,
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

May we always be on guard.

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