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my tree

let the peasants rejoice! for the first time in a week i actually slept through the night! woo hoo!

in honor of this most joyous occasion, i thought i would share my tree with you.

on a completely different note, is it possible to be content while your heart desires to be somewhere else? how does one reconcile the desires of the heart with the parameters of waiting?

why are there always more questions?


things not to do when you cannot sleep at 3am

1. make/drink coffee.
2. clean the bathroom.
3. try to read anything written before 1900.
4. (attempt to) balance your checkbook.
5. look up statistics about how people die if they do not sleep.

while some of these things may seem obvious enough, my recent bout with a severe lack of sleep has had me try all manner of things, none of which were done well...with the possible exception of the making coffee, but i'm fairly certain that that only made the problem worse.

in the truest sense of hope, i will go to bed now. good night.



don't worry...

...this won't be another, 'i hate summer & all is unwell in the world until the snow arrives' tirade. but the fact that it is summer, and at times unbearably hot, for some reason, makes writing all that much more difficult a dark, blustery day, good cup of coffee, and sweater weather somehow makes me feel more myself.

that being said, i have a tendancy in these summer months, to skim over the top of life in an effort to get as quickly to fall as possible. as if, not really living the moments will make them go by so much quicker. basically, i become the antithesis of thoreau's desire to 'live deep and suck the marrow out of life.'

well, last night, when i wasn't even looking for it, that all changed, with the reading of a blog by someone i hadn't even heard of before. in his blog, mr. berryman talks about beauty, and basically what it means to those of us trapped in a materialistic, consumer, busy society. take a few minutes & read it. you won't be sorry.


"We are a culture of glancers. I include myself in that assessment, and frankly find it both hard to believe and incredibly disappointing that I have given away so much of my life to the impoverishment of spending days merely glancing. We need to look. To see. To engage deeply."

there is so much power in what he says, but i have to admit, that as beautiful as the whole thing is, the thing that caught me most was the last line of his blog, "...trying to wake up..." in many ways i feel as though i've been asleep for a long time, if not asleep, then the place where you're so tired, that you can barely remember what you had to do through a day, let alone what you wanted to do.

crazy, when you stop to think about it.

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