contrast

last night brennan manning's 'the ragamuffin gospel' brought out an interesting question at our reading group. "can grace be taken too lightly, too flippantly?" i know it can, because i have sat there, in the cheap seats more times than i'd like to admit.

the discussion that came from this question was a good one...the reason i wanted to start a reading group in the first place.

it really is easy to take grace too lightly in the north american suburban church community. we have everything we need, and if we don't have it today, all we need to do is jump online, order it, and it can be here tomorrow. we have access to more than we'll ever need. our government works to ensure our rights are protected [ :-) ], our homes work hard to shelter us from the elements, we work hard to earn the paycheques that keep us from needing anyone else's help and to keep all the balls we have in the air from falling for lack of resources. aside from the aching feeling of emptiness inside, which could be filled temporarily with the right new toy, what real need to we have for God?

even in ministry. the point was brought up that we have everything we need to make a successful youth event or church service go without 'resorting' to prayer. we have the games, the knowledge, the talented people, the planning ability...if we don't have time to call on God, we can still have a pretty decent event.

contrast this with churches in poland and ukraine who have such an incredible passion for seeking God in prayer...a passion lacking here. they seek God because he is all they have. they know that without him, there is nothing else. because it's true.

a lot of the time it seems like we seek God because it is the polite thing to do. we are in his house after all, we should at least acknowledge his existence. when in reality, all that we have in the way of resources, possessions, whatever, truly is nothing, but we're so busy convincing ourselves that it's something and patting ourselves on the back that we don't need anyone else, that we forget how much we need God and God alone.

who is better off?

delinquent

listening: elizabethtown soundtrack, david gray, james blunt
reading: ragamuffin gospel, the historian

wow, it's been over a month since i sat at my parent's computer & wrote the last entry. i'd use some overworn cliche like 'time flies when you're having fun', but the reality is that time flies no matter what you're doing. the past month hasn't been all fun.

leaving calgary was hard for some reason this time. then i got sick for two weeks. and there's the ongoing stress that sometimes seems relentless.

but in the midst of the bad, come moments of brilliance. spending time with the fam & getting to michigan to see angie. after months of reading & deliberating FINALLY booking my trip to paris (yes, to all who thought it would never happen...i leave on may 7!). actually getting a car (still having a hard time wrapping my mind around my newfound mobility). getting to see a concept i worked on for months hanging in the worship centre & getting carried around by hundreds of people.

i feel as though i have wasted so much of my life waiting for ... something. like chantal kreviazuk's song 'time', "i should have known better/i shouldn't have wasted those days/and afternoons and mornings i threw them all away." no more. i'm done waiting.

i'm going to paris. i'm going to write the book. i'm going to take a chance.

here i come.