Truth

How much easier life would be if I could learn a lesson once, and then walk away sufficiently grown and brilliant from that experience, ready for the the next one?

But then, I guess I wouldn't be human. Perhaps I could be Vulcan*, but I have a feeling that being a Vulcan, always so concerned with logic, wouldn't exactly be a party. I guess I will have to stick with humanity.

With everything that has gone on the in the last eight months with my nephew Jayden, you might think that I would be more quick to trust God, less quick to worry.

Unfortunately, if you thought that, you would have been wrong.

Last week, when I went for a pre-surgical check, before the minor surgery I am scheduled to have on my leg tomorrow, the doctor discovered that my blood pressure is high. Dangerously high were her actual words.

Not something that I was expecting.

Then there were other complications, some of which will have to be dealt with today, my last work day before I am off for the surgery.

Again, not something that I had planned.

So, what is a girl to do when all her plans seem to be preempted by intruders?

Well, this girl's first step is to worry. Then, thanks to some well-timed reminders, to pray. And then, this morning, when I pulled out my Life Journal, and let God's Word speak to my mildly turbulent soul, I was reminded that there is always Truth.

And Truth is strong.
Truth does not back down easily from a fight, because it doesn't have to.
That Truth can shine alone in the dark, because it can.
Truth cannot be bullied.
That Truth does not change with the circumstances.

And the Truth is, that God is love. And He loves me. And He wants me to be the very best version of me, the one that He created. And that doesn't include worrying about things beyond my control, but rather to trust in Him.

So today, no matter what happens, no matter what comes my way, I will stand firmly on Truth.

Standing anywhere else would be silly...


*For those of you who are not into Star Trek, this is a shameless Trekkie reference. I cannot even bring myself to be sorry for it. Live long and prosper.

The Reader {#280-282}

Last week, in the Year with Rilke, I came across this poem, and it resonated deeply within me...

The Reader
by Rainer Maria Rilke

Who has not known a child like this,
who sinks into a deeper level of his being,
undisturbed by the swift turning
of each brimming page?
Even his own mother might wonder
if it is really he who sits there
saturated with his shadow.
And we, can we know
how much of him
disappears, as he reluctantly looks up
with eyes that yield
to the ready-made world without complaint?

—New Poems

How often, as a child did I find myself lost in book, preferring the world encountered on the page to that which we called real life? How many times did I choose to ignore my brothers to read and play with my favorite characters in a book? And when there was no book to read, how often did I pick up pen and paper, writing my own stories, creating my own worlds to dance and play in?

I couldn't put a number on it if I tried.

If I could choose to leave one part of myself to my niece and nephews, it would be this love of the written word, this love of books. Nothing makes my heart happier than when one of my little people picks up a book, either on their own, or to ask someone to read to them.

* * * * *

Today I am thankful for...

280:: for parents who, while they didn't fully understand my desire to constantly have my nose in a book, let me spend countless hours doing this thing that I loved.

281:: for authors who sacrificed their time, energy and stories to bring my imagination to life and create for me the infinite and endless playground of imagination.

282:: for the Bible, the ultimate book, and love letter from God. If there was only ever to be one book, this would be the one.

A Good Reminder

For a while now, I have attempting to incorporate more prayer into my life. To help do this, I have been using a great book called The Divine Hours, which takes you through the four sets of prayer offices—morning, midday, vespers and compline.

To be honest, there have been times that I have been more faithful than others, but the process is one I will continue to weave into the fabric of my life.

This is an excerpt of my morning prayers. I know I have read it other days this week, but this morning, the full weight of the reminder hit me...

Grant to me, Lord. I pray, the spirit to think and do always those things that are right, that I, who cannot exist without you, may by you be enabled to live according to your will; through Jesus Christ my Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.

...I, who cannot exist without you...

In the busy-ness of life, I forget that I cannot exist without God.

In my self-importance, I forget that without my Creator, I am and have nothing.

That I have no hope of living the life He has called me to without him.

That all I have and all I am is solely because of Him.

Today, when I am surrounded by all the things that will demand my focus and attention and time and energy, I will remember this beautiful reminder.

You would think...

For someone who has been a follower of Jesus for as long as I have, I dwell way too much in the land of the humanly possible, the physically believable. Those things which are provable and measurable by human and earthly laws.

But for someone who believes in a God—

        who created everything from nothing

        who made a walking path through the Red Sea

        who gave a donkey the words someone needed to hear

        who arranged a ride for a wayward prophet in the belly of a whale

—you wouldn't think that I would get so hung up on the challenges of my own life.



You would think that I would trust more in a God—

        who used a little mud to cure blindness

        who walked on water

        who raised his friend Lazarus from the dead

        who raised Himself from the dead

—than in my own logic and only that which my eyes can see.


You would think...

One Thing {#270-279}

He (the formerly blind man) answered, "Whether [Jesus] is a sinner I do not know. One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see." {John 9:25}

When he woke up that morning, of all the things that this man, blind from birth, thought that the day might hold, I am pretty sure that looking into the angry faces of Pharises defending the circumstances of his healing was not at all one of them.

After all, the poor man was just sitting there, minding his own business, when Jesus saw him, made some mud with his saliva, and gave him the gift of vision he had never had before.

But, as usual, where Jesus is concerned, people like to complicate things.

First there was the matter that the vision-inducing mud-making happened on the Sabbath. Then, they had to drag the man's parents in to confirm that he had indeed been blind since birth, and not just faking it. The parents are afraid, and tell the Pharisees to ask the man himself. They are afraid to say anything remotely good about Jesus, because the Pharisees only want to hear people say he is a sinner. That there is no way he could be God.

The whole situation seems to have been blown quite ridiculously out of proportion.

But for the blind man—seeing angry faces for the first time, marveling at what the sun looks like suspended in a cerulean blue sky, watching leaves on trees dance in the wind—for him, there is only one thing. All the proof he needs about who Jesus is is wrapped up in this one thing—yesterday I was blind, today I can see.

Sometimes I over-complicate not only my life, but my relationship with God. I feel that I must do this, and this, and this, and then, if I have messed up on any of them, I must get it right before God can love and accept me. But in my overcomplication, I forget the one thing that I know...

This one thing I know: God is love.

When I feel most alone and unlovable and hopeless and pathetic and useless, God still loves me. When I have messed up more than more my share, when I have failed to be who I know God wants me to be, even if everyone else justifiably turns their back on me, God's love will never fail.

I need to remember the simplicity of this.

Like the blind man, yesterday I was blind, now I see. No one else could ever have brought about such a change.

I am going to stick with Him.

* * * * *

Today I am thankful for...

270:: the One Thing of knowing that Jesus loves me.

271:: phone calls that remind me how blessed I am to have all the beautiful people I have in my life.

272:: passport photos that don't make me look like a felon this time around.

273:: finding a cookbook I really wanted for only $5.

274:: that there are only 60 days left until I leave for Paris.

275:: the leaders of my church, and how much time, effort and love they put into serving.

276:: the lemony smell of Pledge after you finish dusting.

277:: crockpots, and walking into your home at the end of a long day, and knowing dinner is ready, even especially if you live alone.

278:: coffee, beautiful coffee.

279:: the beginning of a new week to serve and glorify God.

How blessed I am...

How to be a better listener

Given the silence theme of my week, when I came across this TED Talk by sound expert Julian Treasure, I decided to give the video the eight minutes.

I was not disappointed.

Mr. Treasure begins the video with the words, 'We are losing our listening.' I could not agree more. He goes on to talk about the world we around us, how we listen to it, and how to become better listeners.

The first of the five exercises designed to help us listen better is [*spoiler alert*] silence.

Enjoy this, it's well worth the almost eight minutes.

Unafraid of What Is Difficult

You know how at times it seems like there is Something out there trying to send you a message?

Yeah, me too.

After yesterday's Life Journal entry, the one from Psalm 62, about silence and waiting, when I turned on my Kobo this morning, to read today's reading from, A Year With Rilke, this is what greeted me:

Unafraid of What Is Difficult
Don't be confused by the nature of solitude, when something inside you wants to break free from your loneliness. This very wish, when you use it as a tool for understanding, can illumine your solitude and expand it to include all that it is. Bound by conventions, people tend to reach for what is easy. It is clear, however, that here we must be unafraid of what is difficult. For all living things in nature must unfold in their particular way and become themselves at any cost and despite all opposition.

—Rainier Maria Rilke

Rome, May 14, 1904
Letters To A Young Poet

Yes, silence and solitude—heck—ALL the spiritual disciplines are difficult. Everything that causes you to grow has difficulty that comes automatically with it. I don't need to discipline myself to eat potato chips; that comes perfectly naturally to me. But I do need to push myself to eat broccoli.

So, while yesterday's goal of the week may not have started out well, I am continuing to press on...

Silence & Waiting {#259-269}

For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. {Psalm 62:1}

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. {Psalm 62:5}

Waiting and silence.

To be honest, not exactly my two favorite things.

I've wrestled with waiting, and I know its importance. I understand that waiting isn't always a spectator sport, that sometimes, when you are waiting for something, the most important thing you can do is to keep living, keep learning, so that when the thing you are waiting for arrives, you are ready.

But the addition of silence to the equation changes things immensely.

Silence—the removal of noise and distractions and diversions, all the things that can help one forget that they might actually be waiting for, or lacking something—leaves just me, sitting before God, no toys to amuse me, no words to nothing to draw God's attention away from all the areas that I still don't trust, still am not obedient, still am lacking.

Waiting in silence removed the facade of words that I tend to use to attempt to justify my bad ideas and actions, or excuse my bad decisions.

Silence is a game-changer.

I am comfortable with noise. I get noise. When I am working, there is seldom time when I do not have music, or a movie, or a podcast playing in the background. As a young girl with three brothers who had an uncanny ability to make a ridiculous amount of noise, when they wanted my attention, and I wanted to read, I would curl up in front of our stereo's huge speakers, my left ear pressed against the music, a finger in my other ear, and happily read for hours.

Again, I am comfortable with noise.

But if you believe David's words above, silence needs to go hand in hand with waiting, to give us the vitally important things we need for our daily lives—things like hope and salvation. And I do believe this, it is just hard.

So, this week, I am practicing the spiritual discipline of silence. The New Living Translation of Psalm 62:5 reads, "Let all that I am wait quietly before God."

This is my goal for this week.

* * * * *

Today I am thankful for...

259:: homemade strawberry jam to share with friends.
260:: COBS cranberry custard scone and tea.

261:: baking mini jam tarts for coworkers.
262:: a quiet evening at home to attempt to get my world back to 'normal'.

263:: having the opportunity to read and review some amazing books.

264:: a walk through the Farmer's Market.

265:: getting to have one more movie night with Alicia before she heads back to Senegal.

266:: my dear friend Alicia herself, who has a beautiful hospitality of presence, you cannot help but feel comfortable and at home with her.

267:: my weekly coffee date with Laura, where we fix the world and laugh at ourselves.

268:: a holiday Monday giving me an opportunity to do all the little things that I need to before surgery later this month.

269:: for the reminder to wait in silence before my God.

A Clock of a Different Kind

But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends: A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day. The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent. {2 Peter 3:8,9}

It doesn't look like we humans have changed all that much since Peter wrote those words shortly after Jesus' death. We still want what we want, when we want it. And if we have to wait longer then we deem necessary, things begin to fall apart.

The folks Peter is writing to are waiting. Waiting for God to keep His promises. Waiting for Him to move, and to fulfill that which some of them heard from Jesus' own lips.

But nothing happens.

Well, not exactly nothing. Life still went on, but what they were waiting for didn't happen.

And while they are waiting in the nothingness, questions and doubts walked right in through the open door.

But Peter reminds them—and us—that God has a different kind of clock and calendar than we do. A different plan. He does things His way, and is not limited by human understanding, or merely what His eyes can see.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. {Isaiah 55:8,9}

It's not my job to understand and to know the full timing of God's plan in my life or in the world. My job is to trust. To be faithful. To love justice and mercy and to show them to the world. To believe that regardless what my eyes see, God is still in charge, will keep His promises, and has a plan that isn't for me to worry about.

My job is to be faithful...

Fairy Tale Junkie

Is it just me, or does this look ridiculously, brilliantly awesome?


Why I think this will be brilliant:

1. I love all things fairy tale-ish.
   
2. I love stories that begin with, 'Once upon a time...', even if they don't end, 'happily ever after.'
   
3. I still miss LOST, and if the writers are half as good in this as they were there, then I will gladly open my life back up to the joy of television that brings mystery and wonder into my life.
   
4. If I was ever going to give up city life, it would be to live in an enchanted town, even it it was ruled by an evil queen.
   
5. This all reminds me of one of my favorite Rilke quotes,

How should we be able to forget those ancient myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us. {Rainer Maria Rilke}

And how perfectly delightful that the show doesn't begin until after I get home from Paris!?

Are you a fairy-tale lover as well?

Review: Untitled: Thoughts on the Creative Process by Blaine Hogan

{Normally, book reviews would happen over at my Page Addict blog, but this one is different, given my recent thoughts on creativity, which is why we are here today.}

Every once in a while you come across a book that you know will be important to your life.

Untitled: Thoughts on the Creative Process is exactly such a book.

I used to believe that truly creative people didn't and shouldn't have to work at it. That brilliance should flower and swirl out of the tips of a creative person's fingers even when they weren't trying. But now, after more than half a decade as a graphic designer, the days when it feels like I will never have another creative idea again, outnumber the others more than I want to admit.

Every person in an even remotely creative field knows the pressure of having to create something from nothing in a compressed time period. Blaine Hogan, creative director at Willow Creek Community Church, also knows and understands the demands of needing to be creative under the relentless pressure of deadlines.

This understanding has given him a unique and passionate outlook of the courage and—yes— hard work it takes to meet the creative demands of our work and life. While not pulling any punches, it is a conversational, practical and hope-filled manifesto, written by someone who has traveled this road before us.

It doesn't matter what creative field you find yourself in, Untitled will make you better at what you do. Even if you are not in a traditionally creative field, there is still much you can glean from this book.

I could gush—and friends would tell you that I have—about this book, but honestly, I don't need to. Right now, go buy the book, let it speak for itself. Read it. And when you are finished reading it, don't be surprised if, like me, you want to read it again.

You simply won't be sorry.

Showing Up

I've been thinking a lot about the creative process lately. Given some books I've been reading, as well as the blogs of some fantastically brilliant people, this topic is one that keeps coming up again and again.

When you work in a creative field, it sometimes feels like you have to be creative on demand. At PORTICO, there is always a new sermon series coming up, or brochure, and every week there has a Sunday means that there are a whole lot of elements that go into our worship services.

There are days when it feels like the demand for creativity far exceeds the supply I have.

There was a time when I believed that to be truly creative, one shouldn't have to work at it at all. That creative energy should just flow like swirls from the fingertips. That a truly creative person could sneeze onto a window pane and it would be a thing of beauty.

I no longer believe in this fairy tale.

Which is part of the reason I've been thinking about all this. In truth, I am still solidifying exactly what my creative process looks like. There are elements that I are fairly set into my routine. The three pages that I write every morning {a la Julia Cameron's morning pages in The Artist's Way}, as well as read whatever I can find on the subject, and limit the amount of time I spend in front of a screen or monitor.

And every month, I sit down and design a desktop calendar, mostly for myself, although I have recently discovered that there are those out there who use them as well, which is kind of fun.

The 'rules' when I design my desktop calendars, are simple. Every month, my goal is to make this month's calendar like nothing I have worked on in the last month. If I have used a photo in a certain way in the previous month, or learned and used a new technique, or even drew a flower in a certain way, then it cannot be done for this month's calendar. Whatever the idea is, it has to be like nothing else I have done in the last 30 days. Sometimes it works out, sometimes...not so much.

When I began working on August's desktop calendar last week, I had a specific Bible verse that I wanted to use. But every time I started typing the words, I ended up typing, 'Be still and know that I am God'. Not the verse I wanted, but I ended up giving in to it. After a while, I got tired of fighting it.

Here is the final product:



Then, my sister-in-law Loralie wrote a post on Jayden's CaringBridge blog yesterday afternoon. In her beautiful way, she described how these past few months have affected her, and how she had been running, avoiding, keeping busy for fear that she wouldn't be able to hold it together if she actually stopped and though about her son having cancer.

Then, she had a breakthrough. I will let you read the post in her own words, but I will share the last line of her post...

"So today I sit and rest and be still and know that He is God."

As I read it, I simultaneously started to laugh and cry. Suddenly, I knew that this one was for Loralie, not me.

This grace-filled realization that sometimes, you can do all the planning—all the prep work, come at it with armed with sketches and dreams and preconceived notions—but sometimes, you just need to show up to do the work, and God will take you and what you've brought, and breathe a breath into it that makes it into something far greater than you ever imagined.

Sometimes, you just have to show up.

Who holds my hand {#247-258}

For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.' {Isaiah 41:13}

There are times, when looking at certain situations in my life, that the overwhelming emotion is one of hopelessness.

A bad habit to overcome.

Situations well beyond my control.

Good changes that never seem to stick around for more than a few days.

Somehow, I get it into my head that if I only try harder, then it will all work out. That it will mean more if I can do it myself, and then bring it to God to show Him that He is right in loving me, because I am not a total failure.

And to make things worse, the harder I try, the bigger and grander failure and disappointment seems to be... and the more alone it all makes me feel.

And then I come across a verse like Isaiah 41:13, and am reminded that I was never supposed to go it alone. I once again remember Who it is who holds my hand, and when He whispers, 'Don't be afraid, I am here to help you', it is not a reprimand, but a reminder of truth. And that I was never meant to do it all on my own, but rather to walk with my God, who wants me to trust him.

I need to remember Who holds my hand...

* * * * *

Today I am thankful for...

247:: He who holds my hand.

248:: that Jayden's bedsore is healing!

249:: butternut squash pasta with butternut squash pasta sauce. pure yum...

250:: a brand new jar of sweet pickles.

251:: a super comfy Roots chair to take a Sunday afternoon nap in.

252:: my beautiful, beautiful niece, Megan.

253:: that there are only 74 days left until I get on a plane to go to my happy place.

254:: books, and the ability to read.

255:: living so close to the GO station, making trips to downtown Toronto so very easy.

256:: emails that make me smile.

257:: a job that I love!

258:: that every day is a new chance to trust God more.

How To Be Great

He {Hezekiah} trusted in the Lord God of Israel; so that after him was none like him among all the kings of Judah, nor any that were before him. {2 Kings 18:5}

In a sea of kings of Israel and Judah whose primary descriptor was, 'he did evil in the eyes of the Lord', Hezekiah stands gloriously out. Not only did he do 'right in the eyes of the Lord', but he also trusted God, and according to the verse above, that trust made him great.

I don't know about you, but when I think of great people, it's usually the blindingly intelligent, the charismatic leaders, the overwhelmingly talented, the fearless fighting for injustice, or the hugely selfless giving themselves to improve the world, that I think of.

But here we find another yardstick for greatness, and the secret to Hezekiah's success. This one thing that set him apart from his predecessors, and all who came after him was this one thing: he trusted in God.

I am subscribing to King Hezekiah's One-Step to Being The Best King Ever plan: Trust God. Keep trusting God. And when you get up tomorrow, if the world seems to be crumbling before your very eyes, keep trusting God.

After all, who doesn't want to be great?

You are what you chase...

They went after false idols and became false... {2 Kings 17:15}

There's an old saying that goes, you are what you eat. Moms tend to throw that one out there when their kids prefer Twinkies over vegetables, thinking that somehow the prospect of being broccoli would be better than being golden, spongy, cream-filled goodness. {Clearly this argument didn't get my mom very far!}

But in today's Life Journal reading, when I read the middle of verse 15 and found the words above, it hit me that it's not only the things that we put inside of us that determine who we are, but also the things that we follow.

In the NIV translation, false is translated, worthless. The NASB calls it vanity. No matter how you stack it up, it's not good.

Even after being given strict and direct instructions from God Himself to worship and follow only Him, the Israelites still went off in the other direction, worshiping golden livestock, and every other god they could find from whatever rock they could dig it up under. They always seemed to want more.

How very much like the Israelites we still are today.

Sure, our idols may not resemble cattle, but we follow them nonetheless.

        Money.
        Stuff.
        Entertainment with—at best—questionable morality.
        More stuff.
        Mindless diversions.

And these things that we follow leave us much the same as the things themselves: greedy, empty, hollow, immoral. Not a life anyone would claim to aspire to. And greatly contrasting to the life James talks about in another of today's Life Journal readings...

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. {James 3:17}

So, the question of the day is, who or what are you chasing after?

Unshakeable {#237-246}

Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire. —Hebrews 12:28

If there is anything I have learned in this life, it is that nothing is secure. Things shake and wobble and fall down and break.

Nothing is secure.

Sitting here, I can think of many of the ways that my world has been shaken over the years. My family's car accident back in 1977. Gram's heart attack. Work issues. Dad's stroke. Death. Mom's cancer. Most recently, my nephew Jayden's cancer.

So many things that could leave one feeling turned inside out and upside down.

Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken...

As crazy as life can get, how grateful my heart is that none of the things that take my breath away, take God by surprise. None of these things that so shake my world, cause even a tremor is His. He, like His kingdom, is unshakeable.

And for this, today I worship my God...

* * * * *

Today I am thankful for...

237:: God's unshakeable kingdom.

238:: air conditioning on a crazy hot day.

239:: working my way back into routine.

240:: crossing things off the to-do lists.

241:: turning the last page of a delightfully entertaining book.

242:: starting and finishing a beautifully written memoir in 24 hours!

243:: the anticipation of a weekend visit from a good friend.

244:: a beautiful day to visit Niagara-on-the-Lake with @labellaverita.

245:: conversations full of both laughter and tears.

246:: the gift of two decades of friendship.

Being Broken

One of the daily readings books I have going this year is Henri Nouwen's Bread For the Journey. The reading from this book for today is one that has hit me where I am, and I wanted to share it with you...

Being Broken
—Henri Nouwen

Jesus was broken on the cross. He lived his suffering and death not as an evil to avoid at all costs but a mission to embrace. We too are broken. We live with broken bodies, broken hearts, broken minds, or broken spirits. We suffer from broken relationships.

How can we live in our brokenness? Jesus invites us to embrace our brokenness as he embraced the cross and live it as part of our mission. He asks us not to reject our brokenness as a curse from God that reminds us of our sinfulness but to accept it and put it under God's blessing for our purification and sanctification. Thus, our brokenness can become a gateway to new life.

May we all find God's peace in our brokenness...

86 days until...

...I can walk in le jardin du Luxembourg once again.

book!

I make no apologies for the fact that I read.

A lot.

So, when I say that I have read an absolutely brilliant memoir, and that it would be in everyone's best interest to do so as well, I don't say it lightly.

Today, on my Page Addict blog, I have posted a review of Ian Morgan Cron's, Jesus, My Father, the CIA, and Me. I loved this book. And I am fortunate enough to be able to give a copy away to a lucky reader. All you have to do is comment on the review, answering the question at the end of the post {and shoot me an email so I know how to contact you if you are the winner}.

Good luck... and see you over there!

Leaning {#215-236}

"In that day the remnant of Israel and the survivors of the house of Jacob will no more lean on him who struck them, but will lean on the Lord, the Holy one of Israel, in truth." —Isaiah 10:20

As I read this verse this morning, the thing that struck me is that the people of Israel, in the good days to come, are not standing on their own two feet. There is no expectation for them to stand, but instead to lean. To me, I would assume that their standing would be the goal. But no... it is the destiny of God's people is not to stand, but instead to lean. And not just lean, but lean on the right thing—God and His truth.

As an independent person, a single girl who lives alone, I am a big fan of standing on my own two feet. My parents did a great job of teaching me how to do just so. After all, when you are the only one, you've got to take care of everything yourself. If I don't take the garbage out—as much as I hate the task—it doesn't get taken out. For the most part, I have become pretty adept at standing on these two size-ten feet.

But again, the assumption in this verse, and in others that have come to mind as I write this, is that our natural human posture isn't so much standing, but leaning.

The question—the truly important question—is what are we leaning on?

Too often I tend to trust my own 'wisdom' as my leaning post. (Apparently I have a short memory, as my own wisdom has, at times, been about as solid as a bowl of Jell-o!) Emotions, fickle as they can be, are no where near strong enough to lean on, especially in the dark, hard days.

Far too often in my life I have chosen to lean on things never designed to bear my weight or be trusted, and I have felt the accompanying pain of stumbling, and even hitting the ground.

There is only One that I can truly lean on, who is strong enough to hold me up, even when I am at my weakest.

Oh, for the grace to lean only on my God and His truth...

* * * * *

Today I am thankful for...

215:: the glory that are to-do lists.

216:: summer roasted vegetables for dinner.

217:: having lunch with my favorite niece, Megan, on her birthday.

218:: getting to read Jayden one of my favorite Dr. Seuss stories.

219:: handing out with the parents.

220:: a clear day to see the mountains from afar.

221:: finding the good coffee at the Alberta Children's Hospital.

222:: getting to watch SYTYCD with others who love it too!

223:: a good night's sleep after a horrible one.

224:: the excitement of our summer interns at PORTICO.

225:: a day off.

226:: being so blessed as to live in a free country.

227:: Starbucks Passion Fruit Lemonade on a hot day.

228:: not needing glasses!

229:: connecting with old friends visiting from Africa.

230:: a photo wave 'hi' from the Alberta Children's Hospital all the way to Mississagua.

231:: surgery going well, a little boy home playing trains.

232:: walking to the Streetsville Farmer's market with Saundra and buying the most fragrant strawberries ever!

233:: movie night with the girls and strawberry belgian waffles.

234:: a whole weekend of good sleep.

235:: waking up early to do my Life Journal, another step to getting the routine back.

236:: a God I can fully trust to lean on.