Fairy Tale Junkie

Is it just me, or does this look ridiculously, brilliantly awesome?


Why I think this will be brilliant:

1. I love all things fairy tale-ish.
   
2. I love stories that begin with, 'Once upon a time...', even if they don't end, 'happily ever after.'
   
3. I still miss LOST, and if the writers are half as good in this as they were there, then I will gladly open my life back up to the joy of television that brings mystery and wonder into my life.
   
4. If I was ever going to give up city life, it would be to live in an enchanted town, even it it was ruled by an evil queen.
   
5. This all reminds me of one of my favorite Rilke quotes,

How should we be able to forget those ancient myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us. {Rainer Maria Rilke}

And how perfectly delightful that the show doesn't begin until after I get home from Paris!?

Are you a fairy-tale lover as well?

gratitude list {#1-#30}

even when you love your job, there are times, when the alarm heralds that the new week has arrived, that you simply want to hurl the offending thing across the room, roll over, and finding a cool spot on the pillow, pretend that it really isn't true.

but it is. and each day is a gift.

including mondays, when i'm tired, didn't get everything i wanted to done on the weekend, and would trade my coffeemaker for more sleep.

today is a gift.

thanks to Ann Voskamp, and her book One Thousand Gifts {i hope you're not tired of me mentioning this book, because i'm certainly not tired of it yet!}, i have begun counting my own one thousand gifts… one thousand gifts from God that i am grateful for.

each monday, i will share my updated list with you.

here we go…

#1-30 of my very own One Thousand Gifts...

1. hearing a little boy say, 'i love you…' for the first time ever.

2. a comfortable old wool sweater that feels like a friend.

3. sitting at Starbucks alone, knowing that shortly friends will join me.
4. seeing an old couple walk down the street hand in hand.

5. old ladies of great faith who are not afraid to kick my butt spiritually when i need it.

6. khakis that fit perfectly.

7. candles and tea during Life Journal & morning pages.
8. snow falling perfectly.

9. vanilla rooibus tea latte.

10. a friend who goes out of her way to make my life easier.

11. the sun going behind the clouds, creating an unexpected haven of shade.

12. a swift, much-needed wake-up call to a major problem in the world.

13. "Monet Refuses the Operation", a poem by Lisel Mueller.

14. the quiet moments of a new day.

15. knowing that i have enough.

16. friends who help when i am down.

17. a clean kitchen table to start the day with Jesus at.

18. working crazy hard and getting everything done.

19. lunch & laughter.

20. planning a trip to Paris.

21. dad coming home from his missions trip safely.

22. a new Bible to learn from.

23. bananas ripe enough to become something even more yummy.

24. the person outside shoveling a snowy path for me.

25. awakenings—both slow and swift.

26. homemade strawberry jam.

27. a Jane Austen movie night with fellow JA lovers.

28. an unexpected and delightful lunch date.

29. sunday afternoon naps.

30. the time to start and finish a book in one weekend.

expectations

after so very many years on this planet, you would think that i would have learned that a vast majority of all the disappointments i have had in life have been because reality neither matched nor exceeded the expectations that i held.

why am i surprised by this?

i have a good imagination. so many nights as a child waiting to fall asleep, instead of counting sheep—which i never saw the merits of— i would concoct marvelous stories in my head where i would be the heroine and not only save the world of monsters, aliens and all sorts of evil, but look very stylish doing it. {yes, even as a child, saving the world was equally as important as having good hair}. and when you add to this imagination, the unlimited resources of a rich dream life, well, anything is possible.

everyday-variety real life scarcely has a chance to compare.

"Expectations kill relationships." Ann Voskamp quotes her mother in her beautiful book, One Thousand Gifts. since reading it, this sentence has stuck in my head for days, slowly bring my world of unrealistic expectations versus everyday life reality to the forefront of my mind.

Expectations kill relationships.

there are so many situations flooding my mind where unmet expectations—both on my part and that of others—has strained, bruised and even ended relationships.

including my relationship with God.

how many times have i asked for something, already believing that it should be mine?

how often in the dark of night, illuminated only by the blue haze of the alarm clock, have i rehearsed all the things that i should have?

not to mention those times when it almost seems like i am fighting God to try to get my heart's desire, Him being the proverbial bad guy, one hand holding my dreams away, the other hand holding my head at a arms length as my own arms flair to reach what is not rightfully mine?

this morning in my Life Journal reading, Mark wrote about Jesus' disciples trying to keep children away from Him, so as not to bother him. but Jesus wanted the children near Him. perhaps because of the fun they bring. maybe their laughter. but perhaps, it was because they came to Him without expectations. they didn't want anything from Him, they were just there.

a part of me wonders that if in their lack of expectation, in their innocence, with wonder still fully intact, if those children saw more of a glimpse of the God part of Jesus than all the adults standing around, eyes clouded with expectations of what this teacher could do for them, ever could have.

this child-like, expectation-less, wonder-filled way is the how i want to live my life.

unique

i love my job.

today i got to email out to all of PORTICO's staff a new questionnaire for them to answer. ultimately, these answers will accompany their photo on the staff page of our website. it was such fun putting the questions together, but for me, the best part is when the answers come in.

getting to see the individual personalities come out in what are just a few short questions never ceases to amaze me, and always reminds me of how originally and uniquely God has created us all.

the problem is, i think i'm hooked now.

i'll make you a deal, i'll give you a sneak peek as to not only the questions, but also my answers, and maybe, if you're feeling brave or adventurous or you have nothing else to do, you could leave a comment with your answers to the questions, so i can keep the marveling going throughout the weekend.

what say you? here are my answers...

Farthest you’ve ever been from home: D’nepropetrovsk, Ukraine
Eye color: Blue, grey or green, depending on the day
Beach, country or city? City
Favorite cereal: Coco Krispies
Favorite crayon color: Cerulean Frost
Favorite dessert: Crème brûlée
Favorite book: The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak
If you could travel right now, where would you go? Paris, France {via Calgary & NYC}
If you were a super hero, what super power would you have? Omni-linguism {the ability to understand any form of language}

your turn...

wonder

i was sorting through the memories and memorabilia from my recent trip to New York City the other day, and came across my NYC Metro Card, where i found this quote on the back:

"Within five miles of where you live, there are enough strange things to keep you wondering all your life. Probably in your dooryard may be found enough to employ the intellect of a strong man; one of the great discoveries in science was made by a man cultivating the ordinary garden pea." —E. W. Howe

may you find and enjoy all the wonder hidden within your world.

walked

it seems, for the people in my life, that october is the month to go on vacation. right now, i have friends and family in Egypt, Israel, Texas and California.

as envious as i am, given that i always want to travel, there seems to be a bit of a theme woven throughout some of these vacations, and even crossing over into some of the books i have read this year.

more than one friend who was going to Israel told me that for them, the crux of the trip is to walk where Jesus walked. to see things He would have seen with His eyes.

this morning i received an email from my dad, who, with my mom, is finally living his lifetime-long dream of visiting the Alamo. in it, he said,

"What a feeling to be standing where all those heroes stood. To cross the line and stand with them. The feeling of hopelessness as you realize they were all going to die yet stayed there to serve their country."

my dad is living his dream, walking in the footsteps of his heroes.

after that, i read my friend Phil's blog post, and in it he has a video where Francis Chan talks about going to Oxford and getting a crash course in church history, actually seeing where some lived, and some died.

combine all that with some books i have read this year. A Walk With Jane Austen, for one, where a young woman drops her life to go to England for a month to visit the places where the famous author lived her life and wrote her words. and then there is the book i just finished, Juliet, which while it is a novel, is about a woman who discovers that she is related to the original Juliet, of Shakespeare fame, and returns to Siena, Italy to discover the truth, and her rightful inheritance.

there is something so compelling about connecting the past with the present. about standing in a place and wondering how many fascinating, or just plain normal people through the years have also stood in the same place. about wondering what they did, who they loved, how they faced down their own fears.

...as a child, i walked through forts on vacations with my family, where people of bravery took stands and fought to keep invaders away from their land, teaching me that the way things are now, is not they way they have always been. that there are things that are worth defending.

...i have wandered a Parisian garden where both my favorite sculptor and favorite poet wandered themselves, looking for inspiration and solace, hoping the garden would pass its magic into my own words and art.

...sadly, i have found myself standing in a gas chamber in Auschwitz, unable to keep the tears from flowing for all the lives that ended in that cold, cement room, and all the ways the world could have been made a better place had that room not ever been built.

there are still so many places that i want to touch the ground. so many people, long dead, whose ghosts i want to will my eyes to see. so very much history that i want to connect with.

so many places to walk...


where do you want to walk?

o come

for years, my favorite christmas song has been steven curtis chapman's o come, o come emmanuel. even when the calendar wasn't turned to december, there is something about the opening piano strains that calm my heart even in the most frustrating of times.

then last year, rosie thomas came out with a very rosie christmas, and this holiday season, as i have listened to this gem more and more, the SCC version of o come has been dethroned by dear rosie's.

i am not even sure if i can adequately explain why. there is something entirely magical about the song. from the first moment, when rosie begins singing in her perfect, perfect voice, i close my eyes, and for a few moments, regardless of what else is happening around me, i let my heart believe that anything can happen.

the frustrations can fade.

the miracle can happen.

the loneliness becomes solitude.

the impossible seems less so.

i don't know where you find yourself in this christmas season, but regardless of individual situations, i think we could all use a little more belief in the miraculous.

and if we cannot find it in the celebration of a baby come to save the world, can it be found anywhere?