flying into the wind

yesterday i saw a bird trying to make its way to a telephone wire. the wind was working against the poor guy, and he was flapping his wings madly in an effort to go nowhere.

sadly, this is how i have been feeling lately. being the beginning of a new year, it's naturally a time to look at life & evaluate, and i honestly don't like all that i see. when it comes to living a holy life, my life is still more of a 'don't' than a 'do'. there is still too much anger, pettiness and...well, me in me.

back to the bird...had he given up, stopped working to make his way to a place to land, he would have fallen, probably right in front of my car, and it would have been over. the only way for him to live to was to not give up, even though at times progress was no where to be seen.

this is where i must live. i must continue to wrestle, struggle and fight for holiness, even when the enemy i am fighting is myself.

the alternative isn't an option.