comfort & safety

at tonight's small group, we discussed chapter eight of crazy love, profile of the obsessed. the second point was one that we had a lengthy discussion on, and it still sticks in my mind. chan writes,
people who are obsessed with Jesus aren't consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else. obsessed people care more about God's kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or distress.
do i care more about my personal safety than i do my discipleship? do i value discipleship over my comfort? sadly, the answer i would verbalize would be seldom seen in the way my life plays out.

we talked about safety from a traveling point of view, but for me, there are bigger issues that all stem back to fear. for instance, PORTICO is sending a missions team to poland this summer, and i have been considering my involvement on the team. it's been over four years since i did missions in poland, and the thought of helping a church plant that meets in cafes, just so much appeals to me!

but the fear somehow always creeps back in... regardless of how many missions trips i have been on and how God has provided, sometimes miraculously, to raise all the money necessary, i still fear that this will be the time it won't happen. and the truly crazy part is, that if someone were to share the same fear with me, i would be the first person to tell them that God always provides, that i've never seen someone, no matter how dire the situation, not get all their funding for a missions trip in all the years i've been doing them...and i would mean it for them, yet for me, i question, making the whole mission idea not a particularly safe one.

gary haugen's words from last year's leadership summit have been once again haunting me.
Jesus didn't come to make us safe, he came to make us brave.
if i am really honest, i don't want to live a life marked by safety. anyone can do that. anyone can only attempt what they can do in the physical. anyone can do something when the outcome is completely predictable. as appealing as 'safe' can be at times, for the most part, the idea is more revolting to me.

brave is definitely the more challenging of the options...


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