middle age

it's almost here again. the day when i come face to face with the yearly reality check that reminds me that i am no longer in my 20s...or even 30s. it's almost time to get older... again.

i know this is a silly statement to make, but i don't believe in chronological age. and i'm not just saying that because of the too-soon addition onto the already too-high number. i say it because, really, what does the number of years you've been breathing on this planet mean? it doesn't necessarily make us any smarter, richer or hotter. the holder of higher numbers isn't automatically granted exceptional wisdom or common sense. and, most sadly, just because you have been on the planet for an abundance of years, there is no guarantee that you've actually lived-- been present-- every day you've been granted.

knowing my tendency to get philosophical when faced with the topic of aging, i seem to be haunted by margaret becker's statement in her book with new eyes, that she 'more resembles those near the end of their journey than those at the beginning' more this year than usual. if anything, it makes me more aware that i need to be present for all the days of my life. to actually live, and not just bide time, wait for the next trip to paris, or worse, squander the time i've been given.

while i may never know what prompted him to write these words, i am grateful for this observation:

youth is the period in which a man can be hopeless. the end of every episode is the end of the world. but the power of hoping through everything, the knowledge that the soul survives its adventures, that great inspiration comes to the middle-aged. {g.k. chesterton}

perhaps this whole getting older thing is simply the gift wrapping of the days to come...