too expensive

i've been definitely having some struggles getting back into the swing of things since returning from NYC. habits and disciplines that before the craziness of the month of april were my constant companions have been long in returning. i am well aware that there is no one to blame but myself.

too bad falling off something is disproportionately easier than getting back on.

but i am trying.

as i was falling asleep last night, i was reminded of something that i read in the brilliant book, Devotional Classics, selected readings and devotions from classic authors.

the piece that stuck with me was the entry by Dallas Willard, on page 16...

nondiscipleship costs abiding peace, a life penetrated throughout by love, faith that sees everything in the light of God's overriding governance for good, hopefulness that stands firm in the most discouraging of circumstances, power to do what is right and withstand the forces of evil. in short, it costs exactly that abundance of life Jesus said he came to bring.

this is the kick in the butt i've been needing. because more than anything else this week, i really need to see things in the light of God's governance... among all of the others things listed here.

the cost of staying here is simply way too high...