i have found yet another rilke poem that has moved me. (why am i still surprised by this?) 

Dedication (Rainer Maria Rilke)

I have great faith in all things not yet spoken.
I want my deepest pious feelings freed.
What no one yet has dared to risk and warrant
will be for me a challenge I must meet.

If this presumptious seems, God, may I be forgiven.
For what I want to say to you is this:
my efforts shall be like a driving force,
quite without anger, without timidness
as little children show their love for you.

With these outflowing, river-like, with deltas
that spread like arms to reach the open sea,
with the recurrent tides that never cease
will I acknowledge you, will I proclaim you
as no one ever has before.

And if this should be arrogance, so let me
arrogant be to justify my prayer
that stands so serious and so alone
before your forehead, circled by the clouds. 

so much...there is just so much in here, the first stanza is so full of life, i could use it as a springboard to write for days. but what has struck me most tonight is in the second stanza, "my efforts shall be like a driving force/quite without anger, without timidness/as little children show their love for you."

when is the last time that i showed God my love for him as a child shows love?

last sunday, when mom & dad were here, after church, we went out for lunch with my friends lynn & kurt, and their two and a half year-old daughter liesl. while we were waiting for lunch, liesl was climbing all over me, hugging my head and the two of us were laughing our heads off. she didn't care that other people where watching. she didn't care that she might be too loud, and disturb the people at the next table. she didn't care that people were laughing (probably mostly at me, but you get the point). she didn't care.

sometimes we get so caught up in being 'grown ups', that we forget that we are God's children, and sometimes he just wants us to love and enjoy him; to follow the path he's put before us with so much abandon and passion; to get so caught up in showing God we love him, that we, like liesl, don't care what other people think.

this is who i want to be...


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