enigma

   enigma |iˈnigmə|
   noun ( pl. -mas or -mata |-mətə|)
   a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.
     • a riddle or paradox.

we're in the process of starting a new venue at PORTICO, and last night we had the first town hall meeting to see who would be interested in helping start up the new venue. i find the whole process and the anticipation of the outcome exciting. to be part of something great from the beginning is always pretty amazing.

when jeff asked those of us in the meeting which evening we'd be more interested in the venue happening, between saturday or sunday, only one hand went up for saturday: mine. so on the way home, sharon asked me why i was interested in saturday, and at first, i really wasn't sure how to answer her.

the truth is, i am an enigma, sometimes even to myself.

i am a girl who needs to live in a large city, but loves the small town feel of the area i live in.

personality-wise, i am split right down the middle: half sanguine {generally light-hearted, funloving, a people person, loves to entertain, spontaneous, and confident} and half melancholic {thoughtful ponderer, highly creative, depressed, perfectionist, often a loner and chooses to stay alone and reflect}.

when i am alone, i wish i was out with people. when out with people, i wish i was alone.

so i guess it is no surprise that when it comes to my home church, the oddity continues...

i love PORTICO, including its size, but i am never fully comfortable in a large crowd of people. which is why i think a smaller venue with a completely different feel is appealing. and i won't even get into the fact that i love the non-traditional, non-sunday element.

we all, i suppose, have our enigmatic moments. whether or not we pay attention to them is probably another story entirely.

what is an enigmatic facet of your life? share them with me so i can feel more normal. which is an odd thing to ask, because i hate being normal... good grief.