remembering

as i was doing this morning's life journal reading, i came across some words of Jesus that seemed to jump off the page at me.

let me set the stage. in the days preceding this, Jesus fed the five thousand. a few days later, Jesus fed another four thousand. i don't know about you, but i am not sure that i ever realized before how closely these two meals happened. and then, at the beginning of Matthew chapter 16, there was yet another run in with the pharisees. this time they demanded that Jesus show them a sign to prove his authority.

Matthew continues the story...

Later, after they crossed to the other side of the lake, the disciples discovered they had forgotten to bring any bread. "Watch out!" Jesus warned them. "Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees."

At this they began to argue with each other because they hadn't brought any bread. Jesus knew what they were saying, so he said, "You have so little faith! Why are you arguing with each other about having no bread? Don't you understand even yet? Don't you remember the 5,000 I fed with five loaves, and the baskets of leftovers you picked up? Or the 4,000 I fed with seven loaves, and the large baskets of leftovers you picked up? Why can't you understand that I'm not talking about bread? So again I say, `Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.'"

Then at last they understood that he wasn't speaking about the yeast in bread, but about the deceptive teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees. {Matthew 16:5-12}

don't you remember? it was only days ago when Jesus fed the first group, and even less days since he fed a larger group with more food, and here, the disciples' minds are so wrapped up in the immediacy of what they consider the priority, they completely miss what Jesus is telling them.

don't you remember? i can hardly fault the disciples here, because of the countless times i have forgotten all the ways that God has provided for me in the midst of a struggle or need. like this past summer, before the missions trip to Poland, when financial support was late in coming, i spent way too much time focusing on what i didn't have, and human ways to remedy it... even though i have years of experience and six missions trips with Global 180 where God has always provided.

don't you remember? we don't need to remember God's faithfulness when everything is going well. it seems during those times, our 'remember muscle' works just fine. it gets weak when we've been waiting... for healing, for the answer to prayer that seems so impossible, for those things we're almost too afraid to actually utter in prayer for fear that our hearts may break.

but this is when we most need to remember. this is when i most need to remember all the God has done for me throughout my life.

don't you remember?