Truth

How much easier life would be if I could learn a lesson once, and then walk away sufficiently grown and brilliant from that experience, ready for the the next one?

But then, I guess I wouldn't be human. Perhaps I could be Vulcan*, but I have a feeling that being a Vulcan, always so concerned with logic, wouldn't exactly be a party. I guess I will have to stick with humanity.

With everything that has gone on the in the last eight months with my nephew Jayden, you might think that I would be more quick to trust God, less quick to worry.

Unfortunately, if you thought that, you would have been wrong.

Last week, when I went for a pre-surgical check, before the minor surgery I am scheduled to have on my leg tomorrow, the doctor discovered that my blood pressure is high. Dangerously high were her actual words.

Not something that I was expecting.

Then there were other complications, some of which will have to be dealt with today, my last work day before I am off for the surgery.

Again, not something that I had planned.

So, what is a girl to do when all her plans seem to be preempted by intruders?

Well, this girl's first step is to worry. Then, thanks to some well-timed reminders, to pray. And then, this morning, when I pulled out my Life Journal, and let God's Word speak to my mildly turbulent soul, I was reminded that there is always Truth.

And Truth is strong.
Truth does not back down easily from a fight, because it doesn't have to.
That Truth can shine alone in the dark, because it can.
Truth cannot be bullied.
That Truth does not change with the circumstances.

And the Truth is, that God is love. And He loves me. And He wants me to be the very best version of me, the one that He created. And that doesn't include worrying about things beyond my control, but rather to trust in Him.

So today, no matter what happens, no matter what comes my way, I will stand firmly on Truth.

Standing anywhere else would be silly...


*For those of you who are not into Star Trek, this is a shameless Trekkie reference. I cannot even bring myself to be sorry for it. Live long and prosper.

soul health vs. soul neglect

Sitting at Starbucks last night, before my small group arrived, I was going through my Moleskine reporter notebook, reading over notes I had taken at the Leading From a Healthy Soul conference.

In one of the sessions, Mindy Caliguire explained the difference between a healthy soul, and one that has been neglected. Here are the symptoms of each:


Symptoms of soul neglect:

• fear
• defensiveness
• impatience
• lack of love
• lose sight of why we do what we do
• driven-ness
• isolation
• insomnia
• physical symptoms: digestive problems, headaches, etc.
• apathy
• judgmental
  
• rushed
• irritable
• insecurity

Symptoms of soul health:

• joyful composure
• fearless
  
• peace in real time, in all circumstances
• optimism/hope
• humility
• passion
• clarity
• affection for pursuing God
• flexibility
• forgiveness
• gentleness
• kindness
• fresh vision
• supernatural strength
• words of life
• opposite of bitterness

Re-reading this list has been a good wake up call for me. When too many of the first list start to make an appearance in my life, it's time for some 'soul spa' days.

What about you? How's your soul?

waiting

I suppose you could say i have a love/hate relationship with waiting.

Yes, there are benefits to delayed gratification, and when the thing you've waited for finally arrives, how much more do you appreciate it... blah, blah, blah.

But when you are stuck in the middle—or worse, the beginning—of waiting, the last thing in the world you want to do is romanticize it.

Yesterday, my four-year old nephew Jayden (pictured with his dad in Disneyworld) underwent a slew of tests to discover what is going on in his little body. To see if the miracle we've all been praying for has happened, either through the chemotherapy, a miracle, or a combination of both. The results, unfortunately, won't be available until late next week.

Ah, waiting. {insert appropriately violent eye-rolling episode here}

But at the height of my sarcasm, in the quiet of this morning's Life Journaling, came these words...

But for you, O Lord, do I wait;
it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer. | Psalm 38:11

Ultimately, it is not the medical professionals who we are waiting for, much as they would like to think that. It isn't time itself that is the enemy. It isn't some wishy-washy, foundation-less hope of a good outcome that is our goal.

Our hope is firmly placed in the Lord our God. It is for Him, and—this I tend to forget—with Him that we wait. While we wait for news, it is the Healer Himself who offers comfort and peace and joy and laughter even in the midst of the waiting.

This is grace...