the day is over...

the clock on my computer says 10:58 pm right now. i'll have to trust that it is true, as the clock in my bedroom has some other number on it... a number designed to shock me awake when the annoying noise that comes out of it at 5am. don't ask me why, but this cheap manipulation works daily on my sleep-riddled brain. if nothing else, i am thrown awake as my mind tries to do the computations necessary to see how much longer i could sleep...

perhaps i would enjoy mornings if the first thing i tried to do wasn't math.

all this to say, the day is over. in less than six hours i need to wake up to catch a bus to go across town to the office. they say that soon this will change, and i will once again have my pleasant 20 minute walk to the church back. i am trying hard not to believe it, as if the date changes, i am unsure i will be able to handle it with much, if any, grace.

even though i very well know the bible's standpoint on trials, how they are perseverance and character builders for starters, tonight i will admit that i want it all to go away.

so, as i shut down my netbook and start the long process of falling asleep, i will be thankful that the wisdom of God does not allow the growth-inducing trials in my life to cease merely because i want them too. i will be thankful that God is more concerned with my character development than he is my comfort.

...we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. {Romans 5:3-5}