default

there are days when my insecurities seem to actually run the show of my life... and this week has been full of them. at one point it was almost humorous, no sooner had i talked myself off one metaphorical ledge, when something totally different provoked me back onto another.

and i don't even like heights... symbolic or otherwise.

i love how madeleine l'engle's words give us permission to be human, even in all the messiness that is humanity. in her brilliant book, walking on water, she writes,

when we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. but to grow up is to accept vulnerability... to be alive is to be vulnerable.

to be alive is to be vulnerable. there will always be days when life and all life's characters push my insecurity buttons, inadvertently and otherwise. my job is to always look for and believe the truth in a situation and in myself.

as i was walking this morning, i was praying about some of the more challenging characters and situations in my life this week. my prayer ended with these resolutions:

• may my default emotion always be love.
• may my default reaction always grace and truth.

perhaps this will keep me off those allegorical ledges.