8.27.2009

forgetful

last night was laundry night. in and of itself, this is not an extraordinary thing.

while i was waiting for the second to last load to dry, i sat at my desk detangling the thin fringe of one of my scarves, john waite's 'missing you' cued up on iTunes.

instantly i was transported back to my final year of high school, a wedding that i had gone to all those septembers ago... and the boy that i met at the wedding. more accurately, you could say that we 're-met' at the wedding.

his sister had become an instant friend at one of the baptist retreats that i frequented during my teenage years. and at some point, through her, i had met her brother, P. up until that wedding, i would have called him an acquaintance.

but how much can change in one innocent dance...

i will admit that in my earlier years, i could have been considered somewhat boy obsessed. but as i got closer to the end of my high school years, that had slowed down. one point that i have neglected to mention up to now, is that i actually was at the wedding with my friend K as my guest. he knew many of other guests, and we had fun whenever we were together. the truly amazing thing is that K and i were friends at all, as on my first day of high school, back in september of 1979, when i walked into kingsville district high school, K was the first boy that i fell in love with. somehow, over the years, a friendship emerged from the madness of my crush, and here we were at a wedding together.

and then there was P, the dance that changed everything... and the kiss.

could i even attempt to explain what happened between us on that dance floor? i don't think so, but it was there, and it was beautiful, and when he showed up at my door the next afternoon, tulips in hand, slightly crushed from their motorcycle journey, i knew that whatever it was, i was smitten.

but reality has a way of peeing all over the most fragile and heartfelt of our dreams.

P was leaving to go back to university in london.

this was before email, IMs and SMS. this was all happening firmly in the era of snail mail and rotary telephones. which meant that the magic, the whatever you want to call it, was over before it had a chance to begin. and, for a while, i grieved the loss of what could have been.

* * * * *

fast forward to 2009.

i am romantic enough to want to believe in love at first sight, but i will admit to being somewhat of a skeptic. perhaps, if i were to have not forgotten P and this memory, i wouldn't have been so quick to allow skepticism to win over my heart.

all this being said, apart from truly enjoying this blissful memory, i am a little saddened that it has been so long since i have thought of P and that magical evening.

how many other beautiful memories and people have gotten lost in the dusty recesses of my head?

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